Couples therapy

There’s no right way to be a couple—your relationship does not have to look like other peoples’ relationships; in fact, in order to be right for you, it probably shouldn’t.

However, there are common behaviors and communication issues that lead to relationship dissatisfaction and breakdown. The skillset required for well-functioning and satisfying intimate relationships doesn’t just come naturally, and often, our families and societies fail to teach this knowledge sufficiently and effectively.  That said, this skillset can be learned and committed to. In some cases, a system can be set up in order to support and this newfound way of relating. Eventually, with some time and practice, this knowledge can become innate.

I want to help you feel like a collaborative team, who has each other’s backs and is focused on  each other’s mutual fulfillment, so that you can accomplish things together that might have felt impossible on your own.

Intimate relationships can be pressure cookers that bring out your best and your worst.

They confront you with perennial dilemmas of being human: intimacy and closeness versus independence, commitment versus freedom, being caring and loving versus having needs.  Not to mention dilemmas much more personal to you.

 Your neurobiology is intertwined with your intimate relationships, meaning that you’re wired to react to them. They can automatically trigger threat-response systems or safety-response systems.

Tragically, what comes intuitively or naturally can actually make things worse—feeding into negative feedback loops that leave you and your partner feeling drained and demoralized.

As a result, intimate relationships are often the primary place where aspects of yourself that you’d like to change come to awareness;they can be the ultimate place for you to grow into yourself—or not.

Thankfully, when things are going right, you are wired to respond well to your relationships, too—to be empowered, motivated, and nourished by them. Sometimes a few tweaks, getting on the same page, and fleshing out mutual agreements are all it takes to set off the beneficial feedback loops that get things back on track so that you can focus on savoring your time together, instead of getting caught up in the things that aren’t working.